In order to visit Warsaw, you don’t have to travel to Poland at all. There are about 20 cities, towns and villages called Warsaw in the United States of America, e.g. Warsaw, Illinois. On the other hand if you decide to come to Poland, you will get Europe in a nutshell: Paryż (Paris), Rzym (Rome) and Wenecja (Venice) in Kuyavian-Pomeranian voivodeship, Lizbona (Lisbon) in Greater Poland or Moskwa (Moscow) in Łódź voivodeship. Can you imagine? All the famous European cities in one place! Ever been to Africa? No? We’ve got Afryka in Łódź voivodeship. And we even have Ameryka, with a hospital that is well-known for treating allergies in children.
There’s no doubt that the world has heard of Intercourse, Pennsylvania. But studying the Polish map can also turn out to be hilarious. Following the physiological thread, we can go to Całowanie (Kissing), Moszna (Scrotum), Sromów (Vulvaville), Stolec (Stool), Tumidaj (Give It To Me Here) and Niemyje-Ząbki (Doesn’t Brush His/Her Teeth). Some of these places are actually worth visiting not only for their funny names. Całowanie, which is located near Warsaw in the Masovian voivodeship, is one of the best-known archaeological sites in Poland. The most famous castle of Upper Silesia can be found in Moszna. Sromów is frequently visited by the youngest tourists that go on school trips, as it hosts an interesting folk museum.
If local beverages is what interests you the most, you can choose between Zimna Wódka (Cold Vodka) in Opole voivodeship and Browarek (Little Beer) in Silesia. For those who are fond of unusual food, we have Żabojady (Frogeaters) in Warmian-Masurian voivodeship and Złe Mięso (Bad Meat) in Pomerania. The latter is believed to be about 6000 years old and ancient pottery and flintstone tools have been found there.
Be careful, and don’t spend your Ostatni Grosz (Last Penny – in Greater Poland) on combining bad meat with too much cold vodka, as the next stop could be Zgon (Decease) in Warmian-Masurian voivodeship and consequently Niebo (Heaven) in Świętokrzyskie voivodeship or Piekło (Hell) in Pomerania.
No doubt Poland is a good place to live in. But one village in Masovia stands out. Judging by its name, people must have a very high standard of living, as they live in Zadobrze (Too Good). The map will also tell you a lot about the kinds of people you will meet on your way. And so we have Geniusze (Geniuses) and Konowały (Quacks) in Podlaskie region, Grzeczna Panna (Good Young Lady, with Suchy Pies, i.e. Dry Dog, lying nearby) in Kuyavian-Pomeranian and Stare Babki (Old Grannies), which is a village that actually no longer exists, as all the families living there have moved out at the end of 2015 to make room for building Expressway S7.
Here in Poland we can easily prove that no matter what scientists tell you, the Earth is actually flat: just visit Koniec Świata (The End of the World) in Greater Poland. Should that not satisfy you, we can also offer Wygwizdów (Backwater) in Łódź voivodeship.
Yes, studying the map can be incredibly interesting indeed. But trust us, you will enjoy visiting Poland even more. In a way, Poland really is Europe in a nutshell. The Meat in pierogi and bigos definitely isn’t Bad. The beautiful landscapes of Poland make tourists feel like they’re in Heaven. And Poles are usually people with a sense of humor, able to maintain a healthy distance from themselves. It is really worth spending your Last Penny on a flight to Poland, because vacations in Poland can never be Too Good.
P.S. If you need to find a pinch of salt in Poland, we recommend that you visit the Wieliczka Salt Mine. Or the sandy beaches of the Baltic Sea.